Masturbation

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Difficult to find an appropriate pic to go here! - And not sure what IT services will make of my research! …. ( people lose their jobs for this out there in the ‘real world’ ) slightly embarrassing in this crowded gold fish bowl on the ground floor of the MC building – anyway... here’s a web site to wet your appetite !

During the lecture we were asked alot of questions which it seemed to embarass quite a few of the audience into a shy silence. I guess sex whether its with someone you love ( Woddy Allen's definition of masturbation! ) or with someone else - its a fairly private thing. Apart from those people who are into 'dogging' or swinging etc its generally a private affair and masturbation is the most private of them all . I think given the choice of being caught having having sex with someone else ( except where it may be with someone of the same sex and was until that point was generally an unknown fact i.e George Michael ) or getting caught masturbating most people would rather be caught having sex with someone else as there is less or a stigma attached . But why , I imagine that every adult that is capable of doing so has done so in one shape or form. Men I guess generally tend to be more open about disgussing it but having never been a fly on the wall when a group of women ( I am open to offers ! ) are discussing masturbation I cannot say that with complete knowledge! Generally men are born with all the equipment they need to 'sort themselves out' - If they weren't I just couldn't see men all together at an Ann Summers type party looking at toys etc and discussing them !

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Wrote a really long piece about woodstock's blog and Microsoft very (un)reliable IE7 very kindly crashed and lost it all - 20 mins typing gone- urggh! - quick points instead & please don't crash again - bullet points instead this time - 1) have heard many women say same i.e when in relationship they dont need to - don't think its the same for men at all - we still do ( without macks ! ) - its just habit by no means a comment on our partner if we do 2) aged 15 ! scares me as a parent with 2 daughters ! 3) rabbit - sales have increase as women have been emancipated by programs like sex & city & the hard work of Jackie Gold - will sign off publish before it crashes - i need a pint - library about to close

Money

Money is the route of all evil . I find it incredible sometimes that we still have cash . In this day and age with so many electronic transactions is there any need for cash ? if we got rid of cash - would we get rid of crime !!? - very unlikely - the crooks would just get smarter . But do you ever sit and wonder 'what's it all about, Alfie ?' how did we get into the situation where we are a slave to the £, $ or € ? can't we go back to a simpler less stressful life!?

Prostitution

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They call it the oldest profession . Its always been out there and always will be . And increasingly its not just men paying for it - its women too , women who want fun but either are too busy or simply can't be bothered with a relationship . Personally I have never liked the idea of 'paying for it' , I know friends who have and they have all said great things about it but I personally couldnt do it or least I think I couldnt though I have to say I caught a program on TV recently that looked interesting about a resort in Margarita off the Venezualan coast ! I guess its a case of as you get older and rounder your chances of attracting the women you find attractive demisnish with your bank balance whether you pay for it or not - I just love Tom Cruise's character's sales pitch in Risky Business . I was always suprised by Hugh Grant , theres a man adorned by millions of women and he pays for it and it wasnt with someone who looked anything like as good as Liz Hurley !

Religion

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In John Lennon's song 'Imagine' - he mentions about there being 'no religion' but if we didn't have religion we wouldn't have reason to go out and kill people , I say this tongue in cheek but religion has caused so many wars either in-fighting i.e. christian :protestants vs catholics throughout European history since the 16th century or the current horrific in-fighting going on in Iraq everyday with shia muslims fighting sunni muslims . Or fighting each other over the years Christian s vs Muslims , Muslims vs Jews etc Its all very sad . Surely if we all just listen to the words of the great poet laureat of the 20th century Mr George O'Dowd aka Boy george 'war , war is stupid , and people are stupid...' we could live in peace and harmony? In the lecture we spent a considerable amount of time looking at the Jehova's Witnesses and other 'cults' .To me personally religion is a 'code for life' - the ten commandments make a lot of sense , the teachings of Jesus make alot of sense what I struggle with is the one and only God doctrine if that is so then why are there so many other religions? - who's right? I cannot say that Christianity is right to the detrement of every other religion , I cannot say any other religion is right or wrong but what I can say is - If we all treat each other with respect and dignity and understand our diferences whilst embracing our similarities then we have a chance to live in peace and harmony . amen! ( it did start to sound like i was preaching there! )

Smoking

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Hope you like the pic! - I thought it was quite amusing . Not long to go now . look at the Governments slightly biassed website and you can see the countdown. Personally I can't wait till 1st July , I hate being in smoky environments - I suppose we are living in a 'nanny state' a bit and next it will be a day when farting in public is banned , not such a bad thing I'm sure you agree and it would be good for the planet !

I have ben looking at the Govt.'s website and there are some interesting loopholes and ambiguities in the legislation which will mean that publicans who still want to allow their customers to smoke could install a telephone box, since it is perfectly legal to smoke in one! They could also pay all their customers a nominal sum and claim that they are ‘performing artists’ ( p1ss artists you might think ! ) or more interestingly imprison them all ( i.e. a lock in - could that be 'false' imprisonment!?) since it is legal to smoke in a prison. You might think ‘surely they can trust a prisoner to pop outside for a ‘fag’ break and come back! ‘

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I read Saint Alfredo's smoking blog with nostalgic amusement . I too am sadly old enough to remember those cinemas and even worse tube trains in London and people going for 4 pints at lunch and going back to work in the afternoon and not getting the sack for doing it cause we were obviously far more sociable in those days! - catch your nostalgia fix here.